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Searching for the Way

from Goddess of Night by Weather Veins

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about

When I introduce this song as part of a live performance, I usually say something like “this is a song about having an existential crisis.” Usually more than a few people in the audience laugh, and there’s an edge to that laughter. Then I smirk at them and start playing; we know what we’re talking about. It’s like a secret society: those who know suffering.

I’m quite proud of the use of rhythm and tonality in this song, in particular the time signature changes and modal changes. I really wanted to take a lead from Ian Anderson at his most compositionally fluid; when you listen to tracks from Songs from the Wood there’s this quicksilver quality to how they unfold. I suppose I am something like the black metal version of Songs-era Jethro Tull.

If you’ve ever felt at odds with the world in which you find yourself, this song is for you. “Calling away / my changeling heart / wanting to flee / this empty world.” Is the empty world without or within? What causes this echoing cavity? Can one find home in an unhomely universe? In one’s unhomely self?

If you think of life as an impossibly complex puzzle, one with many seeming solutions but few true answers, then perhaps this song is little more than a map that traces through one possible tangle. Is it a song of liberation or demise? There are many kinds of death, and many kinds of rebirth.

To live the question; that is the question. How to find resolve in the face of impossibility? Well, but this is the story of all history. “All is not as it seems / web of illusion conceals / and lulls into uneasy sleep / ill haunted dreams / defiantly I lucid dream.” What tangles do we weave in the veil of Maya? The web of Wyrd?

Bewilderment is a proper stance in the eye of unrelenting mystery; if you can be bewildered and yet determined at the same time, then you might have tasted something of how “Searching for the Way” seeks to embrace death without conceding dissolution.

lyrics

Calling away
My changeling heart
Wanting to flee
This empty world

Calling away
To distant shores
Secrets in my blood
Yearn to be heard

Spill my veins in spiral weave
Painting my incantation
To ages lost, ages that have never been

Raise my will against the tide
Embrace my heart's burning seed
Pay this price of flesh and bone
Flesh and bone

All is not as it seems
Web of illusion conceals
And lulls into uneasy sleep
Ill-haunted scenes
Defiantly I lucid dream
But I fear my strength is leaving me

I've fallen into this world
I've fallen into this world
I've fallen into this world
Please release me

Guide me
Heal me
Release me

I'm waiting for the sign
I'm searching for the way

credits

from Goddess of Night, released October 24, 2020

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Weather Veins Portland, Oregon

Weather Veins is a dark healing journey into nature and vulnerability.

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